Listen (Part 2)
I'd like God to leave me alone, but he doesn't. He's placed inside me a wanderer's heart, a heart that simply can't and won't find rest until it's resting in God, to paraphrase St. Augustine. Most of the time, though, I'm too worried about what exactly I'm doing with my life or how in the world I can provide for my family, I'm too preoccupied with chasing self-fulfillment, to just rest in God. To just be at peace with the world and my current place in it.
I wander too much; through the past, the future, even other worlds. That's what wanderers do, isn't it? And I'm certainly not ashamed of my wanderings (for the most part, at least), because I feel strongly that it's a big part of my interaction with God and his world. But it does create tension; within myself, with my loved ones, it even comes between me and Christ, when it becomes an excuse for absent-mindedness.
My life story is actually pretty well summed up by my wandering, but that'll have to wait. Right now I'm going to go read to my son...
posted by Adam Jacob @ 4:59 PM
1 Comments:
Adam,
God bless you in your wanderings. I have often found, in my own life, that some positive result, some connection with another person and Christ, some moment of pastoral counseling, has only been made possible by my own wanderings. If I hadn't done A six years ago, I would never have done B two years ago, in which case I would never have met C last year, which in turn would have never have led me to find the church I am in now. That kind of thing, by way of example, is what I mean. So, God bless you in your wanderings.
-R
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