Lenten Observations, or, A Call to Possibility

I’d like to say my long silence is because I’m fasting from blogging during Lent, but that’s not true. In fact, my Lenten observance is fairly non-existent this year, at least externally. Despite that, I do feel like God is at work in my life, exposing weaknesses, confirming strengths, and gently nudging me more and more into the life he desires for me. I’m not there yet, but I feel the motion of spiritual journeying again, and for that I am grateful.

It is past time to take some significant steps, together with my family. God has a future that is expansive and full of possibility, and he’s holding the door open for us, beckoning for us to live into that future. For several reasons, that isn’t possible if we stay put. I’ve been paralyzed by the continuing controversies within and between the Episcopal Church and worldwide Anglicanism. I’ve tried to adapt to, or at least compromise with, the prevailing view in this diocese, trying to understand the sense of persecution and abandonment of “orthodoxy” by the national church that many here feel. I can’t, and Sarah can’t. There’s no reason for that realization to interfere with the personal relationships we’re trying to cultivate here, but there’s also no reason to put off God’s invitation to possibility.

If I’m being too vague, it must be because I’m becoming truly Episcopalian. In all honesty, though, it’s time to follow the call to vocation faithfully. Faithful to Christ, of course, but that involves being faithful to the person I’m becoming and to the people my wife and son are becoming. I’ll be 26 in just a few days, and the timing is right. A lot of my friends and acquaintances from bible college are already in professional ministry, and that’s great. But I think I always knew that I’d get off to a later start, and considering the big change in denominational affiliation, that’s definitely a good thing. It means a longer discernment and educational process, but again, especially in my case, that’s a good thing.

So, in the midst of an otherwise non-practicing Lent, decisions are being made, with the support of my loving partner, and, I pray, the guidance of the Holy Spirit. If anyone is even still checking this, please pray for us. I won’t be lulled into thinking that the going will be easy, but I know it is possible. And after years of searching for one path, the right path, to take, I now know that all God asks of me is to follow his call to possibility.